The Bungee Cord 1/31/22

Hello,

Some years ago, I heard of a study that was done on the effect of harsh and negative comments directed at kids. The study concluded that it takes seven positive comments to override each negative one. Negative comments make dents in kids’ lives that are deep and long lasting.

The reality of the world that most kids live in is that their worlds are strewn with landmines of negative comments. Words that slip out of parents’ mouths in times of frustration and anger. Torments greeting kids when they step on the bus, or walk into a classroom. Subtle stabs when the T.V. turns on. Social media that can be brutal. Coaches who forget what is most important. Most kids are pretty bruised and beaten up, even the ones who seem to have weathered the barrage, when they put their heads down on their pillows each night.

One of the main reasons that I decided to be a pastor was that there was a place where the bombardment of negativity was far less prolific: my church. I felt the warmth of people’s care for me when people of all ages took the time to get to know me. We had interns from the seminary who took an interest in building me up. My peers, although not perfectly, saw the best in me and celebrated it.

As I spent my growing up years in the milieu of the church, I came to learn that the reason for the care that I was receiving was the rock upon which the church lived, Jesus. In a world that counted my strikes, Jesus counted them as his own and gave me a fresh count every day. In a world that admired me for what I did well, Jesus admired me for image of God in which I was created, which was none of my doing. In a world that took a magnifying glass to my blemishes, Jesus was constantly magnifying his love for me in the community of Christ.

When it came time to make a vocational decision, I found myself many worthy options, but I decided to pursue the ministry because I wanted to be part of a world that built people up with the love of Christ. It is true that you don’t have to be a pastor to, as James Taylor says, “shower the people with love” (my favorite JT song). As a matter of fact people who aren’t pastors are more on the front lines in fighting the barrage of negativity. But as a pastor, I hoped to channel my skills and abilities in equipping them with the grace of God as they went out into the trenches.

About a month and a half ago, I met with our church council (the leaders of our church) and asked them to join me in un-denting the lives of the kids in our congregation. Our church is not big, and when we went through our list, we discovered that we have 44 kids under the age of 21 as members. So, I asked the leaders of our church to join me in writing a “grace note” to each of these young folk that we would send out at the end of January. I got a blank stare when I first proposed this project. They, like most of us, are quite adept at seeing the missteps that kids make, and point them out to them. Additionally, we adults can get so caught up in the details of our lives, that we simply don’t see the kids around us (in our case that is easy to do, because so many of those 44 we never see).

“What’s a grace note?”, I was asked.

“Well,” I said, “it is simply a word from you expressing your thankfulness for that person’s presence in your life.”

Over the course of the last month and a half, I received several e-mails from our leaders asking for further explanation. The truth is that we aren’t very diligent in telling people of the blessing that they are in our lives. But, yesterday, in our worship service, as we installed the new leaders of our congregation, the council, I had them come forward with their grace notes which we placed in a basket. As they placed their grace notes in the basket I said to them and our congregation that this is the most important thing that they will do throughout the year in their leadership. Not making sure the bills are paid, or that the property is well maintained, or that things run smoothly….but keeping us on the track of being a place of grace and mercy in a world that is strewn with landmines of shame and guilt.

We gathered our basket of grace, and I am excited to see just what might happen when these 44 young people find 10 notes in their mailbox from people they may or may not know, simply telling them that they are loved with the love of Christ.

Ten notes….that will cover 1 ½ negative comments that they might have received according to researchers. But my hope is that it will, by the power of God, blow those negative comments out of the water, and fill their lives with hope, peace, love and joy.

Have a great week.

God’s grace and peace, (ggap)

Pastor Jerry Nuernberger

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