The Bungee Cord 9-15-25

Hello,

God knows something that we humans have a hard time learning, and that is telling someone to be nice never works, and least not when it is most important. Rules and guidance are good because they provide structure and boundaries, but in the end, they fall prey to the natural deeds and drives that are part of our human composition.

“Be nice,” works pretty well until someone starts spreading an ugly rumor about you and you find yourself lost and abandoned. “Be nice,” works pretty well until someone comes after your job, gets it, and you are left without an income. “Be nice,” works pretty well until a spouse upon getting a divorce wants to move far away with your children. “Be nice,” works pretty well until you find yourself in desperation and hopelessness.

Over the course of these summer months, we’ve seen how being told to “Be nice” has gaping holes and fissures in it. We’ve seen how those deep-seated ways of responding break through the rules and guidance. Neighbors shoot neighbors that they have severe disagreements with. Vandalism erupts after a perceived injustice takes place. Classrooms become warzones from someone who grievances senselessly erupt like a dormant volcano. Nations take up arms against nations.

To many, it seems that Christianity is nothing more than a blowhorn shouting into the world, “Be nice.” However, as I read the Bible, that is not what I hear God, in Jesus, doing. When Jesus hung on the cross, there is no record of him saying, “Be nice.” No, the Bible tells us that when Jesus died on the cross, he did so to gather all people unto himself to change them….to change them from being driven by what the Bible calls “the flesh” to be people driven by “the Spirit.”….from being people of the world to be people of God. As the Bible says, “So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; look, new things have come into being!” (2 Cor 5:17)

The problem with saying, “Be nice,” is the same problem you or I would have in telling an elephant to walk softly, to be like a cat. The problem is, of course, that an elephant is not a cat, no matter how hard it might try to be one. To tell someone to “Be nice,” is to tell that one to act in a way that is not instinctual to them. As long as things are going well, “Be nice,” works, but when things are falling apart the “elephant” in us takes over.

So, I don’t think that Jesus would have us hear, “Be nice.” I think that Jesus would have us hear, “Be you.” And who are you? You are a child of God. Jesus died and rose to make you one, and as a child of God, there are a whole new set of instincts that come from your transformed self. Being part of a Christian congregation is really exploring and developing your new self. Much akin to an elephant, who no longer is an elephant, but now a cat learning how and experiencing how to live anew.

I am not saying that to tell someone to “Be nice” is the wrong thing to do. What I am saying is that in telling someone to “be you”… “you are a child of God”…. has a far greater likelihood of producing what the world needs, nice people.

Have a great week.

God’s grace and peace, (ggap)

Pastor Jerry Nuernberger